Many people have taken the time to reflect where from and how far they have come in the last decade. And perhaps they have looked ahead to the “twenties” and set some loose goals or dreams to achieve before 2030. I have certainly reflected and so thankful for growth but when I spend some time thinking boy, I need to grow some more. So, I thought I’d share twenty things I am glad I learnt in the last decade. And give you, a sneak peek into 20 things I hope to “learn” in the next year and hopefully decade.

TWENTY THINGS I LEARNT IN THE LAST DECADE:

#1. Never quit your job out of offence before you have another job lined up.

#2. Happiness is not a person, thing, status, holiday or relationship – it is a choice. So is joy.

#3. One of the best things you can do is to cut out toxic people and situations in your life as far as possible.

#4. If a toxic person can’t be avoided (eg you work with the person), don’t let them steal your joy and always act in the opposite spirit – if they are moody be friendly; if they are rude, be gentle and kind. This way you remain in control and happy.

#5. Prayer works (but not always in the way you think).

#6. Binge smoking and drinking are harmful to your happiness and health.

#7. Silence sometimes speaks louder than words.

#8. Believe in yourself and don’t believe the lies telling you, you aren’t good enough.

#9. Careful whose company you keep; their behaviour becomes your norm and benchmark.

#10. Be brave and bold – dye your hair that colour, shave it as you’ve always wanted, join that class, see that professional, start that blog or business.

#11. Sometimes (mostly) dealing with your past, needs specialist/ professional intervention and work.

#12. No is an answer. It doesn’t need to be accompanied by an explanation.

#13. Solitude and rest (me-time) are as important as attending that wedding, 40th, funeral, or function. Prioritise it. Also, rest does not equal laziness.

#14. A bad day can often be countered by a good and wholesome meal.

#15. You can live without that person you think you can’t live without that makes you desperately unhappy. PS. You won’t just survive but thrive without them.

#16. Comparison is a trap; jealousy is like drinking poison and Social Media is a breeding ground for both the comparison trap and jealousy.

#17. Be careful who you confide in – not everyone is your cheerleader, some peops are not equipped to give you sound advice and some have ill intentions.

#18. The words of others don’t and shouldn’t define you. You are more than your mistakes and past.

#19. It’s possible to change through grit, a mind made up and an action plan.

#20. Diets don’t work. Neither does exercising to “work-off” calories. Intuitive eating works and exercising as a celebration of your body works.

TWENTY THINGS I PLAN TO LEARN IN THE NEXT DECADE (HOPEFULLY YEAR):

#1. Not overeating due to emotions or the deliciousness of something. Stopping when full.

#2. Exercising three to five times each week for the whole year (hitting my daily step goal).

#3. Saving each month towards a goal (eg retirement and emergency fund). And setting money aside for investment.

#4. Not using a credit card.

#5. Learning to keep quiet and not get involved with drama. Especially staying clear of gossip.

#6. Swapping “perfection” for presence in my life and the life of those I love most.

#7. Taking self-confidence a level higher by worrying less about what others think of me.

#8. Learning to say no without feeling guilty.

#9. Being patient with irritating people.

#10. Not falling into the comparison trap (this is ongoing).

#11. Loving the “unlovable”.

#12. Not giving unsolicited advice.

#13. Guarding my heart, knowing that everything flows from it.

#14. Journaling – writing down what I am thankful for and processing emotions.

#15. Doing more positive things that scare me or push me out of my comfort zone.

#16. Continually purging my closet, home, room and workspace from items I don’t use anymore or have outgrown.

#17. Looking after my mental health and soul in this crazy and fast-paced life.

#18. Making space for things that fill my bucket.

#19. Doing surface level things that make me feel confident (eg. getting nails, hair, waxes done and wearing clothes and undergarments that are good quality, neat and in the right size).

#20. Growing spiritually and therefore in every other aspect in my life; and with this, being known for my love.

Recommended reads for you:

4 Ways to Combat Loneliness

ADVICE THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

19 Reasons Why People Don’t Like You